IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The dashboard for the company is somewhat effective but does not cover all the goals of the company. Th
e
Suggestion
The amount
number
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 of
ticket
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 sales and the
ticket
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price
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 can be used as an indicator of revenue and increasing the
number
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 of
ticket
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 sale monitoring them would help indicate the profitability outcome.
Ho
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wever it d
Accept comma addition
However, it
oes no
t the show the a
Suggestion
not show the
ctual profit numbers or percentage. The
ticket
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price
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KPI
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 would achieve the co
mpanies o
Suggestion
company's
company
companies'
bjective of decreasing the
ticket
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price
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 by 5%. Monitoring his
KPI
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 would provide fe
ed back o
the process in which part of the output of a system is returned to its input in order to regulate its further output
feedback
n the
price
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 movements.
Also
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, re
ntention o
the act of retaining something
retention
f existing
customer
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 objective can
also
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 be achieved by
Number
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 of repeat fliers
KPI
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, Increase in
this
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 would indicate that that the repeat
customer
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 re
ntention i
the act of retaining something
retention
s increasing. The
KPI
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 that I would use are the following. 1.Total Sales - To
track
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 the
number
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 of sales (Sales Growth). 2.New
Customer
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 Acquisition - To
track
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 the goal of increasing the
number
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 of
cu
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stomer b
Suggestion
customers
y 5%. 3.Profitability of Customers - To
track
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 the goal of increasing profit by 10%. 4.# of Repeat Fliers - To
track
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 the
customer
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 retention growth. 5.
Ticket
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Price
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 - To
track
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 the
ticket
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price
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. 6.
Number
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 of planes - To
track
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 the goal of decreasing the planes by 5%. 7.Plane Utilization - To
track
Use synonyms
 the plane arrival and take off cycle time.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
What to do next:
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