Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Religious The first
community
Use synonyms
that has played an essential role in my personal experience is the Church. Having the same purpose and beliefs creates a strong connection among participants.
Additionally
Linking Words
, spreading the message of the Bible about being loved as equals, as
brother
Fix the agreement mistake
brothers
show examples
and sisters, enhances kindness among
members
Use synonyms
. Despite the fear of
judgments
Fix the agreement mistake
judgment
show examples
and the necessity of fitting into a pattern, religious
groups
Use synonyms
are what
reminds
Correct subject-verb agreement
remind
show examples
me most
home
Change preposition
of home
show examples
. Students from the same program The second
community
Use synonyms
that should be mentioned is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who attend the same classes. The fundamental motive is the daily living at college. Other students in the same program fight the same battles
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
me;
therefore
Linking Words
, they can fully understand my frustrations and victories without
further
Linking Words
explanations. The most present emotion felt
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
classmates is
relief
Add an article
the relief
a relief
show examples
of knowing that there is another person going through the same
experiences
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
group
Use synonyms
regularly gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
support to achieve better grades. Learning focus
groups
Use synonyms
The third
group
Use synonyms
can be applied in both virtual and physical worlds.
Learning focused
Add a hyphen
Learning-focused
show examples
groups
Use synonyms
have assisted me
to maintain
Change preposition
in maintaining
show examples
discipline and excitement to master diverse skills. When having conversations with
members
Use synonyms
of
this
Linking Words
community
Use synonyms
, I felt motivated and more interested in the subjects that I aim to learn. The frustrations, despite still being a reality, are not
challenging
Rephrase
as challenging
show examples
as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
used to be. Friends from college The fourth
community
Use synonyms
is built by people with related
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
, similar backgrounds, and equal objectives. Similarities create a genuine connection, providing plenty of chances for interaction. Emotions are commonly positive and cheerful, resulting in grateful memories.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another important aspect of the
group
Use synonyms
is the personal confidence and trust felt with them. It gives the possibility of talking openly with most of the
members
Use synonyms
.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, meeting with the
members
Use synonyms
reduce stress, depression, and feeling of isolation. Support
groups
Use synonyms
Different from the latest
community
Use synonyms
, in support
groups
Use synonyms
, people do not often share positive
experiences
Use synonyms
. The meetings bring together people who are going through or have gone through similar
experiences
Use synonyms
. They provide opportunities to share
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and maybe overcome daunting challenges together. Supporting
groups
Use synonyms
give the confidence for freedom of expression. The emotion of feeling less lonely, as present in other
groups
Use synonyms
, is stronger when coming to the weekly reunions. A unique benefit of the
group
Use synonyms
is feeling less judged, since most of the participants can possibly understand every aspect of your
experiences
Use synonyms
.
Group
Use synonyms
of hometown The final
group
Use synonyms
is important since it gives a sense of recognition. Having other
members
Use synonyms
who have similar childhood stories,
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
know your town, and background,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is fundamental to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
a strong personality and
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
confidence.
While
Linking Words
living far from hometown might have a negative influence on self-confidence,
feeling
Correct word choice
and feeling
show examples
“small”, these Football
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
As other
sports’
Change noun form
sports
show examples
teams, working together for a similar purpose may
strength
Replace the word
strengthen
show examples
the relationships with other players. Playing in
groups
Use synonyms
creates a
community
Use synonyms
of trust, as the whole team shares the same victories and losses.
Although
Linking Words
the feeling of
frustrations
Fix the agreement mistake
frustration
show examples
might be constant as
ones’
Change noun form
one’s
show examples
personal victories depend on others’ attitudes and
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
show examples
. A positive emotion resulting from the
group
Use synonyms
is inspiration and motivation enhanced
my
Change preposition
by my
show examples
teammates and captains.
Submitted by bele_sales on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: