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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of this disturbing trend

#percentage #children #society #years #effects #trend
Children are the innocent creature by god, children need to be taken special care and protection. There is a widespread discussion on increasing numbers of overweight children in
western country
Suggestion
western countries
a western country
, following are the causes and effect of it. The main cause of obesity in
younger generation
Suggestion
a younger generation
the younger generation
younger generations
 is
lack
Suggestion
a lack
the lack
 of healthy
food
, to meet the living standers both parents need to earn and get more dependent on ready to serve
food
 and takeaways.
In
addition they
Accept comma addition
addition, they
 depend on sugary drinks
instead
 of fresh fruits, which only add more calories.
Furthermore fast
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, fast
food
 corners are growing with
pace
Suggestion
the pace
, you find fried checked and burger on every street crossing.
Also
 colourful advertisements are visualized to attract kids. Even the advancement in the technology
have added
Suggestion
has added
 fuel to
this
 issue, Survey done by Times magazine shows 60 percent of younger kids spend more time playing video game and watching television
instead
 of playing
outdoor
Suggestion
outdoors
 owing to
this
 younger generation is becoming more sluggish and less active. As are result of the above inception there are many adverse
effect
Suggestion
effects
 on the child,
firstly
 obesity leads to increasing chances of many diseases, most common is diabetes. Overweight child is more teased in the class and is left out.
Secondly they
Accept comma addition
Secondly, they
 do not have more friends,
finally
in
Suggestion
on
log run
Suggestion
a log run
 they become more dependent for
there
of them or themselves
their
 daily
rutiens
an unvarying or habitual method or procedure
routines
 Iterating to
above discussion
Suggestion
the above discussion
, the main cause of obesity is junk
food
, fried chicken and burger taste good and are reasonable
on
Suggestion
in
price but
Accept comma addition
price, but
 comes with
unhygienic
 and
more fat
Suggestion
fatter
,
instead
 parents should take time to cook healthy
food
 at home. Staying healthy keeps diseases away and
make person more
Suggestion
make a person more
 energetic and active.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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