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Band 4.5

Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities
Healthcare is one of the major
job
 sectors
where, people can
Suggestion
, where people can
 contribute to the welfare of the society. Doctors are treated like God by many and they are respected more by the society, compared to people working in other areas. It is agreed that, healthcare professionals should be given
higher salary
Suggestion
a higher salary
 compared to celebrities.
This
 argument will be proven by
analyzing
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analysing
 the kind of higher
responsibility
 medical
job
 demands, the amount of time a doctor or nurse works and the academic knowledge they have to possess.
Firstly
, doctors and nurses are directly dealing with human life and so the risk and
responsibility
 involved in treating a patient is very high compared to other jobs.
For instance
, a patient who is undergoing a critical surgery for a serious illness has a high possibility of death and the doctor has to be extra cautious while performing the surgery. As can clearly be seen from the example, healthcare professionals are supposed to show more care and
responsibility
 as the
job
 demands.
This
 shows that they
are qualified
Suggestion
qualify
 for a high pay for the nature of their
job
. It is
also
 a known fact that, doctors and nurses do not work for a fixed time frame. They are required to be present for an important
surgery depending
Accept comma addition
surgery, depending
 on the condition of the patient or sometimes they would have to
overstretch
 beyond their normal working hours. Healthcare professionals are
also
 academically brilliant and they are supposed to be abreast with the latest treatment methodologies and new medicines and medical practices. All the above factors lead to the fact that their
job
 demands
high salary
Suggestion
a high salary
 for the effort they make. To conclude, after
analyzing
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analysing
 the facts pertaining to healthcare jobs like
responsibility
,
risk etc
Accept comma addition
risk, etc.
risk etc.
 and
also
 the academic knowledge a doctor should possess it is clear that they have every right to get a more pay than celebrities. It is expected that the high salary will attract more and more young people to pursue a career in
health field
Suggestion
the health field
.
Submitted by abrarkabir1411022 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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