IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#country #language
The graphs show the time it takes employees to commute to their workplaces
,
Accept space
,
 and the mode of
transport
 they use
.
Accept space
.
 Figures are given for both inside and outside London
.
Accept space
.
 For the majority of the UK
,
Accept space
,
 the number of commuters decreases as commuting time increases
.
Accept space
.
 Almost
half
 of the commuters take less than 15 minutes to get to their place of
work
,
Accept space
,
 while only around 3 percent spend over an
hour
 commuting
.
Accept space
.
 Indeed
,
Accept space
,
 three quarters of commuters outside London reach
work
 within
half
 an
hour
.
Accept space
.
 In London
,
Accept space
,
 the trend is very different
.
Accept space
.
 The figures show that it takes much longer to get to
work
.
Accept space
.
 Less than
half
 of the commuters have reached
work
 within
half
 an
hour
,
Accept space
,
 with the percentage reaching
work
 in less than fifteen minutes significantly lower than the percentage reaching
work
 in thirty minutes
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
 forty percent of people spend up to an
hour
 commuting
,
Accept space
,
 with an equal proportion in the 30-45 minute bracket and the 45-60 minute bracket
,
Accept space
,
 and a
further
 sixteen percent commute for over an
hour
 – over five times the proportion outside London
.
Accept space
.
 Regarding the mode of
transport
,
Accept space
,
 the car is dominant both inside and outside London
,
Accept space
,
 significantly so outside London
,
Accept space
,
 where other modes of
transport
 account for less than a quarter of journeys
.
Accept space
.
 Of the other modes of
transport
,
Accept space
,
 walking and taking the bus
are
Suggestion
is
 more common than cycling
,
Accept space
,
 taking the train and using the underground
.
Accept space
.
Inside
Suggestion
In
 London
,
Accept space
,
 the car accounts for about one
third
 of commuting journeys
.
Accept space
.
However
,
Accept space
,
 public
transport
 is used for about
half
 of the
journeys
Suggestion
journey
,
Accept space
,
 the train and underground being more popular than the bus
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by hoard618 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: