Some people think that having a set retirement at the age of 5 for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive pension at an earlier age. -agree or disagree -which types of workers do you think would benefit from this?

Although
,
the common
Suggestion
the most common
age
of retirement is 65 years old, many people believe that some workers should retire at an earlier
age
. I
parially
in part; in some degree; not wholly
partially
partly
agree
withh
expresses the means used
with
the current opinion.
This
essay will discuss both views before reaching the final decision. From one point of view, keeping the same
age
of of
retiremnt
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
is easier for the
governmnet
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
.
In addition
, it helps people to be occupied in the industry which
benefites
financial assistance in time of need
benefits
country's economy
Suggestion
the country's economy
and themselves. They still have a couple of years to save for elderly
age
when they may not be eligible to work anymore.
For instance
, they will be more confident in their
financila
involving financial matters
financial
situation which could help them with better life treatment in the future. From another side, modern people try to retire as early as they
can to enjoy
Suggestion
can enjoy
their life.
Accordingly to
Accept comma addition
Accordingly, to
recent
researchof
Suggestion
research of
the Galley, 70% of people between the
age
of 25-35 work at several jobs or set up their own businesses for life quality improvement.
Additionally
, people whose jobs
are related
Suggestion
relate
to physical
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
should retire earlier due to health condition.
Also
, people who
uccupy
keep busy with
occupy
high stress positions must retire earlier as
they
of them or themselves
their
mental health may suffer
for
Suggestion
from
a long term.
Nevertheless
, many individuals still deserve an early pension and in some
cases our
Accept comma addition
cases, our
well-being may depend
in
Suggestion
on
giving it to them. In conclusion, with people having different occupation, it's
difficu;t
not easy; requiring great physical or mental effort to accomplish or comprehend or endure
difficult
to classify everyone into
large group
Suggestion
large groups
the large group
a large group
and distribute pensions
accordingly
.
Submitted by irasolovey7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: