IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people make friends through social sites and chat rooms. Others believe that it is not a good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #friends #sites #chat #rooms #idea #face
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In the ultramodern era
,
Accept space
,
lately
accquaintances
personal knowledge or information about someone or something
acquaintances
 have been made through multimedia.These
gadegets
a device or control that is very useful for a particular job
gadgets
 have revolutionised the
concpt
an abstract or general idea inferred or derived from specific instances
concept
 of
counication
the activity of communicating; the activity of conveying information
communication
.Some critics opine that interaction through
ultratec
Suggestion
Ultratec
medias
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
 has been much better than face to face interaction.
Although
,
Accept space
,
this
 essay upholds the view that
this
 trend
inturn
Suggestion
in turn
 leads to deterioration of
relationship
Suggestion
relationships
,
Accept space
,
yet ponders on both issues Some critics opine that, the new generation
often rely
Suggestion
often relies
 on social media to interact with people.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
they
conceed
admit (to a wrongdoing)
concede
conceded
concealed
that undoubtedly
Accept comma addition
that, undoubtedly
,
Accept space
,
the
ecessiveuse
 of smart
phnes
electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds
phones
 and internet has
subveted
cause the downfall of; of rulers
subverted
 the
offline
 relationships including
facetoface
within each other's presence
face-to-face
 interaction.For
instancetebresak
 up healthy
relationmostlydue
 to
ecessive
beyond normal limits
excessive
 use.
Tis
Suggestion
This
 has indeed snatched the ability of
diret
command with authority
direct
diet
counication
the activity of communicating; the activity of conveying information
communication
connection
.
it
Suggestion
It
 has
eaxceptionally become
Suggestion
become exceptionally
exceptionally become
exceptional become
 easy to
contacat
close interaction
contact
counteract
 each other
elecatronically
by electronic means
electronically
 and
share
 information instantaneously in a
comunity
a group of people living in a particular local area
community
.
they
Suggestion
They
 can
share
 photos and videos
simultaneiously
at the same instant
simultaneously
 with many people
.
Accept space
.
The cutting edge
tehnologiees
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
technologies
 have eased the life of many Whereas
,
Accept space
,
technology makes communication less personal,
However
, with
offline
 friendships one get an opportunity to meet with their companions regularly. To illustrate
this
, 80% of the people
share
 their problems and opinions more with their friends and less with their families. The reason for
this
 is that they get a chance to pass the message to someone whom they think is more trustworthy and can certainly help them to get out of the situation.
In addition
, they spend their weekend
time especially
Accept comma addition
time, especially
 with their past-time classmates in order to
share
 some jokes, ideas and business plans with them.
Therefore
, it is apparent from the above situation that people who prefer
offline
 friends love to spend their time in their
friends
Suggestion
friends'
 company.
moreover body
Accept comma addition
Moreover, body
Moreover body
 language is
aother
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 most
sighificant
important in effect or meaning
significant
 matter in communication
,
Accept space
,
whereas
this
 has been masked in communication through technology In conclusion,
Although
 with online
freindships
the state of being friends (or friendly)
friendships
 one can make lots of
friends but
Accept comma addition
friends, but
 if you compare it with
offline
 friendships I personally believe that meeting in person is more beneficial than talking to
somone
a human being
someone
 in a virtual environment.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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