Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage

Some people prefer being others’ employee to being their own boss because of potential risks which may be brought about by doing
business
on their own. Those who disagree, including me,
however
, believe that the benefits of running people’s own
company
can outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin
with, we must acknowledge that running one’s own
business
can pose a number of threats.
Firstly
, a
business
owner
Suggestion
owner's
shoulders the heaviest responsibility. To be more precise, he has to do multi
tasks from
Accept comma addition
tasks, from
business
planning, staff managing to accounting or even marketing.
This
may make him feel stressful and isolated.
Additionally
, because of great responsibility, he will push himself harder than any others, working long hours without vacations to fulfil the ultimate aim of boosting his
business
. Despite that, he will suffer
uncertainty income
Accept comma addition
uncertainty, income
fluctuations and receive no other benefits like paid
leaves
Suggestion
leave
or retirement pensions.
Nevertheless
, being
people’s own boss
Suggestion
the people’s own boss
also
has various advantages, one of which is job satisfaction. People set up their
business
basing
(American football) a play that involves one player throwing the ball to a teammate
passing
on their knowledge, their interest and their passion without forcing themselves to obey others’ directions.
This
also
offers them the freedom or flexibility in scheduling, performing work and making choices. Because they are the owner of the
company
, being in the highest position of the
company
, they are free to
work whatever
Accept comma addition
work, whatever
time they want, conduct whatever task they like and make any decision. No one but themselves has right to prevent them from those. Another upside is the fact that an employer always earns more than their employees. Especially when the
business
flourishes, he even makes money without working. In conclusion,
although
running one’s own
company
is quite risky, I still have a strong belief that the benefits it provides are much more enormous and make it worthy for people to take risks

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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