An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Obesity is becoming a huge concern for the millennials. Many children are encountering the problem of obesity, and because of that their health and its cost of care will be touching the sky when they will turn to adults. In
this
Linking Words
essay, reasons of the above mentioned problem and solution regarding to it will be discussed. There are mainly two factors which are playing a dominant role in an increasing number of adolescents being overweight. The
first
Linking Words
reason is that nowadays, most children like to play games on their mobile
instead
Linking Words
of going outside and do physical activities.
Couple
Suggestion
A couple
of decades back, children used to play in the grounds and cycle a lot which is disappearing now.
Also
Linking Words
, because children of
previous era
Suggestion
the previous era
previous eras
lacked technology they had no other option to entertain themselves, but in the current times children are becoming lazy and overly dependent on their gadgets. The
second
Linking Words
reason, linked to the
first
Linking Words
, is that the schools are becoming less concerned about the physical well-being of teens. Because of the added pressure of studies, most of the children are not able to allocate sufficient time to playing and
therefore
Linking Words
creating an issue for the present and future as well. Tackling
this
Linking Words
issue involves creating a balance between the use of technology and physical activities. Parents should advise their children to consume mobile phone for a
limitied
small in range or scope
limited
time. They should
also
Linking Words
encourage their children to go out and play, rather than just taunting to study. Apart from parents, schools should be instructed to follow
strict outdoor activity schedule
Suggestion
a strict outdoor activity schedule
for children. Allocation of time should be adequate for lectures and sports. Students should be encouraged to use bicycles as it benefits
enovironemnt
Suggestion
the environment
environment
along with personal health. In conclusion, necessary efforts should be made in order to resolve the obesity problem among children, before escalation. School authorities along with parents have to play a crucial role in order to shape the behaviour of children in a diligent manner.
Submitted by davearjun54 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: