IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behavior #host #country #differences
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The customs and traditions of a
country
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 are one of the most crucial elements that signify the individuality of that
country
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. There are people who believe that visitors to a
country
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 must follow the cultural norms of the host
country
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, while others are of the opinion that
diversity
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 should be encouraged.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views in the subsequent paragraphs. The
first
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 school of thought stems from the “When in
Rome do
Accept comma addition
Rome, do
 as the Romans do” philosophy.
People
Suggestion
The people
 of
this
Linking Words
 view believe that accepting cultural
diversity
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 would threaten and ultimately weaken the customs of the host
country
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. Thereby losing their own uniqueness.
Secondly
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, one might argue that it is easier to live in a
country
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 where everyone follows the same norms so as to avoid conflicts.
For example
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, Polygamy is illegal in many European countries as well as the USA while it is a common religious practice for
muslims
of or relating to or supporting Islamism
Muslims
.
Similiarly
Suggestion
Similarly
, the use of marijuana for recreational purposes is a norm in Canada whereas
this
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 practice is frowned upon in many countries of the world. The opposing view claims that
diversity
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 should be encouraged as it creates tolerance amongst people to respect others with different point of views. They
also
Linking Words
 believe that
diversity
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 would not harm the preexisting norms of a society rather than modify them to incorporate everyone so that no one feels left out.
This
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 acceptance would open up new avenues in all forms
such
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 as food and clothing etc. An example of
this
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 is the variety of types and
flavors
the general atmosphere of a place or situation and the effect that it has on people
flavours
 of pizza we have now. Welcoming new cultures into the mix would
also
Linking Words
 generate kindness and consideration
from
Suggestion
of
 the new individuals which will help them ease into the society. Having discussed both the views, my stance would reside with the latter view as I believe that
diversity
Use synonyms
 would do more good than harm in the world.
Submitted by sageerpasha2019 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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