Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians and sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of Job should be highly paid?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
competitive era
,
Accept space
,
where everyone aspires to earn more
money
Use synonyms
some people feel that sports and movie stars are overpaid.
However
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, in my opinion their hard work and contribution towards their
country
Use synonyms
make them worthy of getting more
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will justify my point of view and will
also
Linking Words
discuss the other sectors that need to be paid more. To start, not every sports and entertainment personality earns higher
money
Use synonyms
, only few successful people are paid more because they
have proved
Suggestion
have proven
their abilities over the time and had worked extremely hard to achieve all
this
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. Take, Mary Kom
for example
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, she is
a
Suggestion
an
indian
a member of the race of people living in America when Europeans arrived
Indian
boxer and a five
times
Suggestion
time
world champion. She was born in a poor family, but now she is one of the richest sports persons.
In addition
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,
filmstars
Suggestion
film stars
and musicians are popular all over the world.
Thus
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they bring worldwide recognition to their native
country
Use synonyms
, and help in the growth of the
country
Use synonyms
by boosting various sectors
such
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as tourism by attracting foreign visitors. Apart from these, there are many other professions that are eligible for getting more
money
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, police and military services. These people serve a
country
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and protect
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
citizens by securing the borders.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they risk their lives and sacrifice their happiness of living with family for others.
Hence
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, they should be allotted higher salaries.
Secondly
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, healthcare professionals,
such
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as doctors should be given more
money
Use synonyms
as these people do not have fixed working hours like other employees. Even on the national holidays,
for instance
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, unlike others,
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
professionals have to be present on duty for casualties in the case of emergency.
Therefore
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, these professions required to be given highest remunerations. To conclude, I disagree with the viewpoint that sports players and actors
are paid
Suggestion
pay
too much and would
also
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think that
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
personels
group of people willing to obey orders
personnel
, police and army men should
also
Linking Words
be paid more for serving their nation and
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
residents.
Submitted by bhagatisha4 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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