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Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.
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The flowchart demonstrates the steps involved in making goods for consumers, followed
a
Change preposition
by a
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process
Use synonyms
 through which information is sent back to
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
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 stages for improvements and modifications throughout the
process
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. (30) The
process
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 of
product
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 formation begins with the purchase of raw materials and manufactured components which are kept in storage until the
production
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process
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 is planned. The
production
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 planning stage involves
product
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 research and design. The
process
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 is carried through the stages of assembly, inspection, testing and packaging of the final
product
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
product
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 is dispatched for
sales
Fix the agreement mistake
sale
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 to the consumers. (62)
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Production
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 planning provides
feedback
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 for storage.
Similarly
Linking Words
, sales provide
feedback
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 for both
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production
Replace the word
product
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 planning and market research, which in turn provides
feedback
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 for advertising and packaging.
Similarly
Linking Words
, both market research and testing provide
feedback
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 for design. In conclusion, the manufacturing of customer goods is a continuous
process
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 and involves
large
Change the article
a large
the large
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 number of steps,
while
Linking Words
feedback
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 is obtained from certain steps of
Use synonyms
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
 randomly. (27)

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, product, production, feedback with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer goods manufacturing
  • stages
  • diagram
  • information feedback
  • adjustment
  • raw material extraction
  • processing
  • component manufacturing
  • assembly
  • packaging
  • overview
  • feedback loop
  • summarize
  • main points
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