IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organisation #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that most of the important positions in an industry are handled by elderly people.
However
Linking Words
, some people believe that when an organization is lead by youngsters, the performance of the
company
Use synonyms
 will be better, and I agree with that statement. On the one hand, older people have more e
xperiences
Suggestion
experience
in the industry and it will definitely help them to make a better decision. The reason for
that is
Linking Words
 if there i
s
Suggestion
are
any severe circumstances in the job, leaders and senior staffs are basically the one who takes control over the situation and have the nerve to d
o
engage in
make
the decision-making process calmly.
Besides
Linking Words
, as elderly staffs may be working in the
company
Use synonyms
 for many decades, they may have more influence on other staffs. For younger people, it will take time for them to prove themselves as worthy as older people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as a leader, one needs to take more responsibilities and need to work more than other people. Studies say that the younger generation people work harder than older people. As younger people have more energy to work and they are eager to learn new things, while older people prefer to go back to h
ome
that male; objective male pronoun
him
in time for a family commitment.
In addition
Linking Words
, younger people are likely to be more creative.
For example
Linking Words
, an intuitive marketing campaign made by younger marketing staff may break out the market and it may have a huge impact on the
company
Use synonyms
 profit. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 experienced staffs may play important roles in the
company
Use synonyms
, I strongly agree that younger leaders will perform better for the above-mentioned reasons.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: