People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #workforce

Human

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Humans

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as a part of nature become weak and old, so they need to be cared

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for by

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others. A large group of old people are not maintained by their families but in recent years,

care

centers

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centres

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care

home

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homes

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and nursing

home

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homes

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are

Wrong verb form

have been

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established

for

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take caring them

that

Correct word choice

and

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these places have been welcomed by families.

This

essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks that result from

such

an approach.

To begin

will positive, a significant

advantages

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advantage

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is that looking for elderly people in

care

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homes

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home

or nursing

houses

Correct your spelling

homes

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is more time-efficient for families because

now a days

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nowadays

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all members of family work or study out of

home

and nobody can stay and take

care

them

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of them

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Beside

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Besides

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time-efficiency

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time efficiency

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, old people’s health and safety are provided by

care

or nursing

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homes

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home

For

example

Add a comma

example,

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doctors and nurses are always present to help them in case of emergency. From an opposite angle,

this

trend

also

has many

disadvantage

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disadvantages

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like feeling lonely for old parents or grandmother or grandfather because they are separated from their family and friends

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, for example,

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for example

some of

old

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the old

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parents used to

be stay

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stay

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home

alone but despite

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apply

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having facilities which are available at

nursing

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a nursing

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house, they prefer to stay close their family. Another crucial disadvantage is

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the coast

a coast

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coast

Correct your spelling

cost

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of caring

elderly

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for elderly

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people in

care

home

because these places provide room, meal and

also

some activities and

Correct article usage

the coast

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coast

Correct your spelling

cost

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maintaining

Replace the word

maintenance

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is more than an old

person’s

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person

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earn. By the way of conclusion, it can be deduced that despite the benefits of

elderly

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the elderly

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staying in nurse

hone

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homes

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, it can lead to depression and

including

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apply

show examples

high

coast

Correct your spelling

costs

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Submitted by farzaneh.gerami2017 on Wed Nov 27 2019

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
financial resources
retirement fund
cognitive functions
social interaction
wealth of experience
expertise
social security systems
dependency ratio
employers
adapt workplaces
job retraining
flexible working hours

What to do next:

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People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

the best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?