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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two pie charts show the percentages of pollutant entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007

The two pie charts show the percentages of pollutant entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007
#two #show #percentages #pollutant #part #ocean
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This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 pie
charts
Fix the agreement mistake
chart
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indictea
Correct your spelling
indicate
tge
Correct your spelling
the
 proportion of various
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
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 which entered a special part of the
ocean
 in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1997 and 2007.
Overall
, at the beginning of the
year
,
Add an article
a pollutant
show examples
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
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 from
air
Correct article usage
the air
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 contributed
most
Correct article usage
the most
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,
while
 little had
least
Change the article
the least
show examples
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
show examples
 that entering in the
ocean
. In the comparison,
at the end
 of the
year
Add a comma
,year
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pollutant
 from
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
 and domestic sewage was the largest segment
caused
Correct pronoun usage
that caused
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 pollution in
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
 and the lowest contribution was made up
by
Change preposition
of
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 litter and farm waste. On having the look at the graph, it is seen from the graph that domestic sewage and offshore oil
enter
Replace the word
entry
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
ocean
Correct article usage
the ocean
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 increased significantly from 18% and 5% for the former
year
 and 29% and 14% for the latter
year
.
However
, in 1997 and 2007,
Add an article
a pollutant
show examples
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
show examples
 from
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 polluted the largest segment of the
ocean
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 30% and drop slightly to 29
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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at the end
 of the
year
. A similar
tend
Correct your spelling
trend
show examples
 was noticed in the case of industrial waste and marine where the figure decreased sharply
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
by 8% and 9%, over the given period. One more
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 feature of the chat is the percentage of farm water and litter
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
show examples
 added
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
 which has decreased by almost 2% from 1997 to 2007
Submitted by hunnychahal009 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pollutant, ocean, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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