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Writing Samples
Band 4

the line graph below show the income of graduates student with different age in 2002 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the line graph below show the income of graduates student with different age in 2002 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The lines
provides
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provide
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 about the
salary
Use synonyms
 of graduates
student
Use synonyms
 for a range of different age in 2002. The
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first-degree students
are
Change the verb form
is
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 quite different from the other students. They start their career with the lowest
salary
Use synonyms
 almost £350.
This
Linking Words
 remuneration increased gradually during the
next
Linking Words
 20
years
Use synonyms
 until reach £690.
However
Linking Words
, their pay decreased slightly between 40 and 50
years
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 old before to have a
steadily
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steady
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rise
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rising
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.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the other
student
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start
Change the verb form
starts
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 their work with approximately £410. They are
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
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 went up dramatically until 36-40
years
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 old and finished with a remarkable
fell
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fall
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at the end
Linking Words
 of their career.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was an
upgrade
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upgraded
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 trend for
higher
Add an article
a higher
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degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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. They began with
a
Remove the article
apply
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pay
Replace the word
payment
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 under £400 and increased sharply until 41-45
years
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 old with £750 per month.
Then
Linking Words
, their
salary
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 declined modestly to £720 for 15
years
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, their remuneration increased considerably to £790 per month.
Overall
Linking Words
, the higher degree
student
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start
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starts
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 their profession
one
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with one
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 of the lowest pay before
to know
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knowing
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 an upward trend and
finish
Wrong verb form
finishing
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 their employment with the higher one.
At
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On
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 the opposite of the other
student
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, in spite of
Correct article usage
a significantly
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significantly
Replace the word
significant
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 increase
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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ended with the lowest
payment
Replace the word
paid
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at
Change preposition
in
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 the same position
with
Change preposition
as
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 first-degree
student
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 . Hhhhhhh hhhh
hhh
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hhh
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hhh
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hhh
Use synonyms
hhh
Use synonyms
hhh
Use synonyms
hhh
Use synonyms
hh
Use synonyms
hh
Use synonyms
hh
Use synonyms
hh
Use synonyms
hhh
Use synonyms
 it thug hhhh tu
hhh
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 hhhh de heka je heki she zjkaja henek Hakka lejehdh Allen's ajjakab jajzjzh heka j'ai jekqkaj hakaka je j'allai jakajb hdhhz heure jekkz halal halal Lakehurst haka

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, student, years, hhh, hh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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