IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You live in a small town of 10,000 people. A large green area in the centre of town is undeveloped. The city has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents would like to have built in that area.

#town #people #area #centre #city #survey #residents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
used
Suggestion
Used
 by the city to build a recreational
park
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 would create a sense of
Use synonyms
community which
Accept comma addition
community, which
 in turn provide a
place
Use synonyms
 for the children can go to after school or on the weekend, reduce pollution and increase attraction. The recreational
park
Use synonyms
 builds a sense of
community
Use synonyms
, a
place
Use synonyms
 of where you get to explore wildlife and
also
Linking Words
 learn about nature, history and life of the
community
Use synonyms
 you currently live in. People tend to appreciate a
place
Use synonyms
 of serene and nature. Research shows that
community
Use synonyms
 with recreational
park
Use synonyms
 helps the family to bond more while children knowing more about animals and plants. The recreational
park
Use synonyms
reduce
Suggestion
reduces
 the air pollution, but
compare
Suggestion
comparable
 to a shopping
complex where
Accept comma addition
complex, where
 you have so many
business
Suggestion
businesses
 which may use equipment which may be harmful to the environment, With a recreational
park
Use synonyms
,
you
of you or yourself
your
 worries less on the big build and equipment used to sustain the build because everything has to do with nature.
Community
Use synonyms
 with recreational
park
Use synonyms
 encounter less of
health problem
Suggestion
a health problem
health problems
 compared to the ones with shopping complex as evidence in Durban town. The recreational
park
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increase attraction as people from the neighbouring cities would visit to explore the town and the new developed
park
Use synonyms
 with the natural
habitants
the type of environment in which an organism or group normally lives or occurs
habitats
 found there. Researchers having explored the whole province, had
notice
Suggestion
noticed
 that most towns have more of the shopping complex and no have yet to explore having a recreational
park
Use synonyms
 which is very educative for all.
This
Linking Words
 is to say reenact again that it would be best if the city decides to use the undeveloped space to build
recreational
Suggestion
a recreational park
park
Use synonyms
 because it creates a sense of
community
Use synonyms
 which provide a
place
Use synonyms
 for the children can go to after school or on the weekend, reduce pollution and increase attractions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: