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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that girls should take husband’s name after marriage while others feel that they should not follow this age old tradition. What is your opinion?

#people #girls #husband’s #name #marriage #age #tradition
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A few hundred years ago, things were straightforward, when a man and a
woman
 got married, the wife changed her
surname
 to that of her
husband
's
name
. But nowadays they are matters of concern. I completely disagree with changing
woman
's
surname
, as I see that as a transfer of subservience from father to
husband
, and losing of women's identities to that of men's. In the internet age, all the work that the
woman
 did under her previous
name
 is not going to show up in google search anymore. If someone is trying to track her down for job opportunities with previous
name
,
then
 it will be
tough time
Suggestion
a tough time
 in finding her out as it
invloves
connect closely and often incriminatingly
involves
 lots of verification. A
name
change
 has lots of practical difficulties which
includes
Suggestion
include
 changing in all government records, causing more
burdern
an onerous or difficult concern
burden
.
This
 implicitly imposes her to lose her identity personally and
also
 professionally. When it comes to marriage, one can
visibily
in a visible manner
visibly
 see the
change
 is imposed mainly on women. She is expected to relocate to her
husband
's place, leaving her family, job and everything behind. If a
woman
's refuses to take up the
change
, she will be considered as violating the tradition and not respecting the family and their culture. Women are expected to be communal, sacrificing their individual interests to the well-being of the family and having
husband
's
name
 as
surname
 can be seen as selfish and forcing them to be the
change
. It may seem easier to ask men to
change
 their
surname
 according to that of women, but it is always
invisble option
Suggestion
an invisible option
invisible option
 and placing
burden
Suggestion
the burden
a burden
 entirely on the women to take up the
change
.
Change
 of
name
 is solely
women's decision
Suggestion
a women's decision
 and not of men's or their families.
thFamily
Suggestion
ThFamily
 should respect the women's individuality and should not run behind the tag of
ownership
Suggestion
owning
.== People should consider marriage is all about connection of two hearts, not a
name
 changing event.
Submitted by subha220993 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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