IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #crime #rate #teenagers #countries
Teenage is the most vulnerable
age
 for both positive and negative thoughts to incur. Recent criminal records from different countries show the rise in
crime
 rate among teenagers. Teenagers with less guidance are easily dragged into these crimes. One of the reasons in
increase
Suggestion
an increase
 in the
crime
 rate among teenagers is less interaction with their parents. Mostly, in a nuclear family, where both the parents are working, children hardly get time to discuss their problem with them.
This
 results in
increase
Suggestion
an increase
 in boredom and taking advice from
such
 people who
are already indulged
Suggestion
already indulge
 in criminal activities. Another reason could be excess exposure to social media and getting attracted to the T.V.
programs
Suggestion
Programs
 showing vicious
criminal
Suggestion
Criminal
 activities.
Now a days
Suggestion
Nowadays
, teenagers are picking negative characters shown in movies as their role model. They try to copy their role model and eventually get trapped into one of
such
 crimes. Society and friends are equally responsible in
drastic increase
Suggestion
a drastic increase
drastic increases
 in teenage
crime
. Teenage with good friend circle and better society possesses good social values and indulge less in criminal activities.
On the contrary
, a friend indulged in a sin can easily drag another friend and it has been noticed in my own society that few teenagers have started smoking on the terrace with two outsiders. The society and the government bodies can work together to curb the increased
crime
 rate among teenagers. People should take it as their moral
responsiblity
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
 to inform the concerned parents, if they suspect their child being involved in some criminal activities. Government should take initiative to create awareness among teenagers about the strict law and the impact of these activities
on
Suggestion
in
 their future.
Nevertheless
, parents are busy with their daily routine, they should take some time to sit and talk to their children about their friends, daily routine and guide them with their experience. Parents should share stories about other teenagers who unknowingly indulged in some criminal activities and their fate. Though, being most vulnerable
age
, teenage is
also
 the
age
 to excel and set up the foundation
to
Suggestion
for
of
 successful and prosperous life. Parents are the strong force behind any child and they can teach social values to their children at
appropriate
Suggestion
the appropriate age
age
. Efforts, put together by both parents and government, can put a control over drastically increasing teenage crimes all over the world.
Submitted by anandashish92 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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