IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The growth Of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge.

#growth #shops #towns #cities #answers
In recent times
,
Accept space
,
 preference for Shopping Online has increased exponentially.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
 some people believe that in the not so distant future
,
Accept space
,
 physical shops in towns and cities would have to close down. In my opinion, I agree that
this
 would definitely happen as recent consumer behaviour trends already point out to
this
 eventuality. One major reason brick and mortar shops may soon become a thing of the past is the change in human
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. People today are generally time poor. We live in a digital age, a world of heavy traffic and longer working hours. A world where both men and women spend a huge chunk of their time trying
to make
Suggestion
making
 a living and as
such
 most people do not relish the idea of driving down to
shopping malls
Suggestion
the shopping malls
 and spending hours going from store to store.
For instance
, a study carried out by the New York Times in 2018 showed that the number of people who shop exclusively online increased by 85% in the
last
 decade. What
this
 means is that physical stores are getting less traffic as their potential clients have shifted to the more convenient option of buying online. Another thing to consider is that new entrants into retail business are choosing to run their stores online as against opening stores. They choose
this
 route because it reduces
entry cost
Suggestion
the entry cost
 considering they could run a profitable business venture right from their living room.
This
 assertion is supported by recent studies by research organisations which have shown that with the advent of
big
Suggestion
the biggest
 social media sites like Instagram and Facebook, a lot of businesses now choose to run their stores solely on these sites.
Consequently as
Accept comma addition
Consequently, as
 existing stores are
dwi
owed and payable immediately or on demand
due
 dwindling in number, new ones are not
also
 springing up because everyone is doing their business on the internet. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
going by the recent trend in consumer shopping preferences
,
Accept space
,
 it is certain that one day soon all physical shops in urban areas will be forced to move to online channels and ultimately close their doors as keeping the shops open would no longer be a sensible thing to do.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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