IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #fulltime #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 diagram illustrates the amount of male and female
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 3 different dates in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, who was in additional learning in which they were educating whole or specific
time
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
extra learning is higher than full
time
Use synonyms
 for all in all different
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
. The highest proportion of both types was reached by
Add an article
a woman
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 in 1990/91; and
also
Linking Words
,
man
Add an article
the man
a man
show examples
 was reached to
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 ratio in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full
time
Use synonyms
 only. On the side of
specific
Add an article
a specific
the specific
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 of
Linking Words
additionally
Change the word
additional
show examples
 education, the ratio of
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 was higher than
Add an article
a female
the female
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 with around 300 thousand during the period 1970/71.addation in the
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 periods the ratio of
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 was slightly more than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 by about 200000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of men
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 evident more than
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in 1970/71. But the number of
female
Change to a plural noun
females
show examples
 was exceed the number of man in 1980/
81while
Correct your spelling
81 while
 in 1990/91 the statistics
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both was the same.
Submitted by nairaelgammal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: