Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#women #childcare #men #focus #children #life

In the traditional society,

female

Suggestion

the female

was regarded as taking care of family and educating their child. In these days,

more working female

Suggestion

more working females

the more working female

can

also

be admired in

job market

Suggestion

the job market

. From my point of view, I oppose that women should not develop their own career. One of the possible cause is that gender equality should be advocated around the world. Women are not only capable of taking care their children, they are

also

good at taking care of elderly and patients. The dominating numbers of female who play

role

Suggestion

the role

of nurses is an excellent illustrations. Gender is no longer a limitation when the employer

choose

Suggestion

chooses

their competent employee. Apart from upholding the universal value, it is more vital that women are the valuable work force for society. According to Forbes ranking, Yang Mi who is

Suggestion

famous international movie actress brings the enormous tax incomes to

Chinese government

Suggestion

the Chinese government

As a result

, it shows that women

also

can contribute

themeselves

reflexive form of "them"

themselves

to the growth of economies. To conclude, while some people resist in the thoughts of

past

Suggestion

the past

, I believe that women should be allowed to work in order to show our equality of

world

Suggestion

the world

Submitted by ylp5d41 on Wed Dec 04 2019

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender roles
nurturing
empathy
sensitivity
maternal instinct
paternal involvement
child's development
work-life balance
gender equality

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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the reals need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

More and more people are choosing to work from home. Is this a positive or negative development.

Many people believe that teachers and students in the classroom will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree or disagree?