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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#women #childcare #men #focus #children #life
In the traditional society,
female
Suggestion
the female
 was regarded as taking care of family and educating their child. In these days,
more working female
Suggestion
more working females
the more working female
 can
also
 be admired in
job market
Suggestion
the job market
. From my point of view, I oppose that women should not develop their own career. One of the possible cause is that gender equality should be advocated around the world. Women are not only capable of taking care their children, they are
also
 good at taking care of elderly and patients. The dominating numbers of female who play
role
Suggestion
the role
 of nurses is an excellent illustrations. Gender is no longer a limitation when the employer
choose
Suggestion
chooses
 their competent employee. Apart from upholding the universal value, it is more vital that women are the valuable work force for society. According to Forbes ranking, Yang Mi who is
an
Suggestion
a
 famous international movie actress brings the enormous tax incomes to
Chinese government
Suggestion
the Chinese government
.
As a result
, it shows that women
also
 can contribute
themeselves
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
 to the growth of economies. To conclude, while some people resist in the thoughts of
past
Suggestion
the past
, I believe that women should be allowed to work in order to show our equality of
world
Suggestion
the world
.
Submitted by ylp5d41 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • nurturing
  • empathy
  • sensitivity
  • maternal instinct
  • paternal involvement
  • child's development
  • work-life balance
  • gender equality
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