IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Education is very important. How can children who are disinterested in study be motivated to learn?

#education #children #study
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Although
knowledge
 comes from various streams
,
Accept space
,
education
 has proven to be the path to
knowledge
. Losing the
interest
 in
education
 can be due to various reasons and understanding the reasons could pave way for better
education
 for children.
Educational system
Suggestion
The educational system
An educational system
 has evolved
in
Suggestion
into
 an immense level. As
such
 moving from real life learning
,
Accept space
,
 academic focus on teaching theoretical subjects in the recent days. Due to the change in
education
,
Accept space
,
 children tend to lose
interest
 as they are more classes oriented and not field oriented. Imparting
knowledge
 in children should be drilled down to a more activity based
classes
Suggestion
class
. So that children may understand the practical and theory behind the concept. Introducing new concepts through fun learning would make the child naturally to get interested and will be more focused.
Thus maintaining
Accept comma addition
Thus, maintaining
 the focus is the key in not losing
interest
. Institutions can come up with various field works
,
Accept space
,
 camping and activities through which children can gain profound
knowledge
.
Accept space
.
 Parents
also
 should focus on the intellect of their child. Focusing on the grades would naturally create a competitive environment for
child
Suggestion
the child
children
a child
 rather than imparting
education
.
Therefore
focus
Suggestion
the focus
 should lessen on the score card and more on the learning itself. Anything
that is
 taught via an interesting method stays in the mind longer and lead to creative thinking ability. In Conclusion,
education
 is not only the key in sustaining
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
 can be introduced efficiently and through creativity which not only sparks
interest
 but pave
way
Suggestion
the way
 for logical and analytical reasoning.
Submitted by abikarthika8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: