IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, fastfood restaurant and supermarket give money to school to promote their products.do you think this is a positive development or negatively development?

Now a day
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
advertisement
Punctuation problem
, advertisement
show examples
 is a source
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
explore their business in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 global market.In some
Correct your spelling
countries
contries
Add a comma
contries,
show examples
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast-food
Restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 and
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 give money to
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 to
promot
Correct your spelling
promote
 their products.As per my view of point negative
development
Use synonyms
 is more than positive. If
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am talking about positive
development
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 with the
help
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
 can expand their
education
Use synonyms
 level,
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 management
provide
Verb problem
can provide
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 to more
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
 more
children
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 provide better service to them.Like, better classroom, educational material
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
.Another one ,
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 provide
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 standard
salary
Change preposition
of salary
show examples
 to faculty.With the
help
Use synonyms
 of
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 increase the
moral
Use the right word
morale
show examples
 of the faculty and get satisfaction.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 must
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
use
this
Linking Words
 fund in
Linking Words
such activities
Correct word order
activities such
show examples
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 sports, health, economy
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
.In
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
children
Punctuation problem
, children
show examples
 get scope to improve their ability.
For instance
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 management
arrange
Correct subject-verb agreement
arranges
show examples
 sports dat some time
such
Linking Words
helthcamp
Correct your spelling
as a health camp
.
However
Linking Words
, negative
development
Use synonyms
 more
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
children's
Check wording
children
show examples
.
fast
Fix capitalization
Fast
show examples
 food items
very
Verb problem
are very
show examples
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 promote their products
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
; then
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
attrect
Correct your spelling
attract
 with
this
Linking Words
 and demand from the
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 if
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
should
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not allow
then
Linking Words
it's
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impect
Correct your spelling
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
 in
children
Use synonyms
's
mond
Correct your spelling
minds
.In
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
children
Punctuation problem
, children
show examples
 do some antisocial activities like theft or some crime.
Such
Linking Words
 type of things
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
mobile
Fix the agreement mistake
mobiles
show examples
,
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 or
Linking Words
such gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 all
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 negative
development
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's
education
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Now a day
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
Use synonyms
children's
Punctuation problem
, children's
show examples
most
Replace the word
mostly
show examples
 connect with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media and get down score in
education
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,there are so many
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 for the promotion of products
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 promotion with the
help
Use synonyms
 of the
school
Use synonyms
 is not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way.So
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 per my point of
view
Punctuation problem
view,
show examples
 it's
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 role in
children
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they must
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
apply some other source of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
promotion.

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organization
Make a short plan before you write. Start with a clear intro that says what you think. Then add 2 or 3 main ideas and finish with a short conclusion.
grammar
Use simple, short sentences. Check subject and verb in each sentence.
cohesion
Use linking words to join ideas: also, but, however, for example, in addition.
grammar
Fix spell and mark. Use capital letters at the start and a dot at the end of sentences.
content
Give clear examples to back up each idea. Do not use too much vague talk.
content
The writer shows both sides and has a view.
content
There is some idea of what schools could do with the money.
content
The piece has a clear final idea that the plan is not good.
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