IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people #four #tourist #attraction #britain #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of people who visited four
diffent
Correct your spelling
different
touist
Correct your spelling
tourist
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
 in Britain during
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1999. The table show percentage of people who visited 5
theme
 park during
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 year.
Overall
, it can be seen that
theme
 park was the most famous tourist attraction
while
 wildlife
parks
 and zoos had the lowest percentage during 1999.
According to
 the survey,
theme
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
, museums and
galleris
Correct your spelling
galleries
 were the most popular destinations. They both in all contributed to more than 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 where
theme
parks
 had 38
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 where as 37
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 was of museums and galleries. Historic houses and Monuments had 16%
while
 wildlife
parks
 and zoos
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
least favourite tourist spot it was only 9%. AS
theme
parks
 had the highest
Correct quantifier usage
number of visiters
show examples
visiters
Correct your spelling
visitors
show examples
 but only Blackpool Pleasure Beach had the most significant proportion which is 47
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
legoland
Change the capitalization
Legoland
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 in
windsor
Change the capitalization
Windsor
show examples
 and
chessington
Change the capitalization
Chessington
show examples
 world of adventures were the lowest with 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by nandkishorjagtap58 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words theme, parks, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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