IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The claim that animals have “rights” has been the subject of much debate since the 1970s. Are zoos helping or hurting our animals? Should zoos be banned? Do you agree or disagree?

#animals #“rights” #debate #zoos
Good zoos serve the welfare of animals. They generate in people a commitment to the value of nature and the environment
.
Accept space
.
In the past, there have been questionable zoos employing cruel practices. These zoos, of course, need to be reformed. Good zoos where animals are cared for properly, well fed and well looked after, and where animals are kept in spacious surroundings, are becoming the norm and should be encouraged. Zoos increasingly become places where people are encouraged to connect with animals. The long-term future of zoos depends on people making a commitment to animals’ long-term well-being. The emphasis has shifted from zoos being seen as places of entertainment towards zoos being seen as places of education. Most modern zoos put their main emphasis on conservation and education—visitors come to zoos to learn about nature, the environment, endangered species, and conservation. Far from encouraging bad treatment of animals, zoos provide a direct experience of other species that will increase ecological awareness. Programs in zoos to breed endangered animals in captivity are lauded as huge success stories. Animals
such
 as tigers, pandas and gorillas have a chance of surviving as a species because of these programs. Providing that animals are treated well, there is no reason why conservation, education, and cruelty-free entertainment should not all be combined
in
Suggestion
with
 a zoo
.
Accept space
.
 Animals can and should be studied in the wild
,
Accept space
,
 but they can
also
 be studied more closely
,
Accept space
,
 more rigorously
,
Accept space
,
 and over a more sustained period of time in captivity
.
Accept space
.
For
Suggestion
Four
 endangered animals to be given a better chance to survive
,
Accept space
,
 zoos need to be supported.
Submitted by chintapallysandeep on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: