IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #governments #citizens
Some people think that wealthy nations should support underdeveloped countries by providing food and education while
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 thinks that it is the responsibility of their own Government to look after their citizens. In my view, wealthy nation should provide assistance when there is scarcity of natural resources. There is no doubt, the Government has
obligation
Suggestion
an obligation
the obligation
 for well being of its citizen. In Democratic
countries people
Accept comma addition
countries, people
 elect their leaders and in return it is their primary duty to arrange for basic necessities and
remarkable education system
Suggestion
the remarkable education system
a remarkable education system
.
Futhermore
in addition
Furthermore
 the
Governemnt
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
need
Suggestion
needs
 to plan for long term growth by identifying and using the natural resources for economic growth. Lack of planning will cause
deprival
 of people basic rights.
On the other hand
 developed countries must raise their hand in support of countries with
lack
Suggestion
a lack
 of natural
resources
Accept comma addition
resources, for
for example
, countries like Somalia
,
Accept space
,
 people are facing severe shortage of clean water and basic foods, In these
circumtances
your overall circumstances or condition in life (including everything that happens to you)
circumstances
 the wealthy nation should come
farward
at or to or toward the front
forward
 and support the local Government
becasue
for the reason that; on account of
because
 of the lack of fund they are unable to draw a long term plan. To conclude that developed countries should help
the poor
Suggestion
poorer
 countries only in case they
dont
do not
don't
 have natural resource
otheriwse
in other respects or ways
otherwise
others
 it is the responsibility of later to
used
Suggestion
use
 effectively their natural resources and improve their people education and basic necessities.
Submitted by ali_haider86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: