IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that prison sentence should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #sentence #criminals #education #job
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While some people believe guilty a crime should not be punished with a
jail
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sentence
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, others argue that vocational and technical education ought to be used
instead
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. I tend to agree with the argument and in
this
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 essay, I will support my view with examples.
To begin
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 with, Many Criminals after committed a crime and going to
jail
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sentence
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 during
this
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time
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 or maybe a long
time
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 day sitting idle in
prison
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.
This
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inoccupation
maintaining something at the most favorable temperature for its development
incubation
time
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 during the
jail
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sentence
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 presents more
time
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 to
thinking
Suggestion
think
. Offenders might think about revenge or planning for breaking hazard laws again during that
time
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 in
prison
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. A good illustration of
this
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 is that lawbreaker after
commits
Suggestion
committing
 an illegal act goes to
jail
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 for a long
time
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 due to he is virtually idle might think about some ways to vengeance and committing bigger crimes. The government could do preventive measures for
this
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inoccupation
maintaining something at the most favorable temperature for its development
incubation
occupation
time
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 and mental free
time
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 in
prison
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. The state could provide educating classes and jobs with studying during the offenders’
jail
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 sentences.
In addition
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,
prison
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sentence
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’s
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time usually
Accept comma addition
time, usually
 presents many difficulties for lawbreakers. To put it differently, criminals throughout the
time
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 in
jail
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 have many problems with they try to face them.
For instance
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, one of these problems is that some of these offenders are too young and
this
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jail
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sentence
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 costs them a fortune. Simply put, living in
prison
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 costs the beneficial years of their life. Clarification needed, In that precious
time
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 offenders could have learned useful knowledge or vocational training
instead
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 of sitting
workless
Suggestion
wakes'
 in
jail
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.
Therefore
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, at the end of the
prison
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sentence
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, they have many useful skills and beneficial sufficiency it contributes to less thinking about committing the illegal act again, during the offenders’
prison
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time
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. By way of conclusion, I ones again reaffirm my position that I completely agree with the former state.
in
Suggestion
In
 my opinion, providing training classes and jobs with education contribute to fewer break laws and illegal actions because of
many facts
Suggestion
the many facts
 like making criminal mentally occupied and educating beneficial skills.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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