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Band 4

In many societies , elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members
: Nowadays, it is not uncommon to find geriatrics living in old age homes. Some people doesn't mind doing the same,
however
,
Accept space
,
 others including myself do not support
this
 notion.
Firstly
, It is our moral duty to take care of our parents and grandparents who have left no stone unturned in making their wards' future better.
In other words
,
Accept space
,
they have worked so hard and have endured sufferings all their life just to give their offsprings happy
.
Accept space
.
So now
,
Accept space
,
when they need us at
this
 tender age for love and support we should not back off.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
if we look at the downsides of keeping pensioners in
old folk's home
Suggestion
an old folk's home
the old folk's home
, Not only they will have resentment as their children left them there but they will feel isolated
.
Accept space
.
This
 may lead to depression and ultimately
,
Accept space
,
 deteriorate their overall health. In some communities
,
Accept space
,
people sending their older members of family at rest homes are often looked down upon by society,
this
also
 means that it’s not
acceptable thing
Suggestion
an acceptable thing
 to do.
Secondly
, having
elderly person
Suggestion
elderly people
 in family has proven to be
boon
Suggestion
a boon
, as they can share their hard earned experience with posterity and inculcate values in them as well
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore
, juveniles of the house always feel showered with love and affection by their grandparents and vice a versa.
In addition
 to
this
,
Accept space
,
elderly people can take care of abode while other members of the family are outside as locked houses always attract thieves. To conclude, there are plausible factors supporting the view that geriatrics should not be kept in old age homes to have a happy and healthy life, It’s a win -win situation for all the members of the family
then
.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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