A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits.

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defence

There is no doubt that the primary role of a

government

is to protect its citizens from threats.

Therefore

, many people argued that the

government

should increase

spending taxes

Accept comma addition

spending, taxes

defence

, but spend less on social benefits.

Although

spending taxes

Accept comma addition

spending, taxes

defence military

Accept comma addition

defence, military

can ensure citizens’ safety, it is crucial to spend

money

on social benefits to improve our social welfare. On the one hand, improving and strengthening the armed

force

and military is essential for a country as it protects citizens from threats. By spending more

money

defence

, the

government

enables the arm

force

deters

Suggestion

deter

aggressive neighbour countries and terrorists in which want to attack the country.

Consequently

, it does not only limits the

war but

Accept comma addition

war, but

also

prevents the death of innocents and damaging properties.

Therefore

, by putting more taxes to improve

defence

force

, it can enhance the safety of our society and protecting the citizens from harmful threats.

On the other hand

, spending

money

on social benefits

is crucial not only to improve the standard of society’s living but

Suggestion

has crucial not only to improve the standard of society’s living but also helped

also crucial not only to improve the standard of society’s living but helps

is crucial not only to improve the standard of society’s living but also help

also

help our community to develop.

For example

, the

government

should spend

money

on building more public services

such

as hospitals and educational institutions, as it ensures people are able to satisfy their fundamental needs.

Moreover

, it

also

helps our community’s economy as it creates more career opportunities.

Consequently

, it

also

improves our nation’s standing in the world economy.

Therefore

, the act of spending more

money

on social benefits creates a variety of distinct advantage not only to the citizens but

also

to our society. In conclusion, spending more

money

defence

force

can enhance the safety of our society.

However

, the

government

should not spend less on social benefits as it has a variety of distinct advantages not only for the citizens but

also

for our community.

Wed Dec 25 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvangtes

The influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of the loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

A large number of people are being killed in road accidents every year. Why do so many accidents occur? Make recommendations that would help to reduce the number of road accidents.