IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree? Write at least 250 words.

#crime #rate #offenders #parents #skills
Young people committing the crimes
has been
Suggestion
have been
 a
serious concerned
Accept comma addition
serious, concerned
 for our society. Over the years the
crime
 rate
commited
bound or obligated, as under a pledge to a particular cause, action, or attitude
committed
 by young offenders increased throughout the world. It is essential to find ways to tackle
this
 serious problem. One of the important
thing
Suggestion
things
 in my opinion is to teach parents about better parenting skill to solve
this
 problem. It is often said that parents are the
first
 teacher of a child. So essentially, the knowledge gained by the child from his/her parents is crucial for his/her way to live life. So if a child
get
Suggestion
gets
good
Suggestion
the best
 education from parents, he/she will never commit a
crime
.
Also children
Accept comma addition
Also, children
often tends
Suggestion
often tend
 to follow the action of adults.
Therefore good
Accept comma addition
Therefore, good
behavious
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 by parents
infront
Suggestion
in front
 of their children is absolutely necessary. Often children experience the fights between
parents which
Accept comma addition
parents, which
 affects them when they become young because of the trauma. It is
therefore
 essential for parents no to fight
infront
Suggestion
in front
 of their children.
Also
 in today's world, parents are not able to spend time with their children.
This
 is resulting in
lonliness
the state of being alone in solitary isolation
loneliness
 and depression in
children which
Accept comma addition
children, which
 is one of the
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 for
increasingh
becoming greater or larger
increasing
crime
 rates.
Therefore
, if parents
gives
Suggestion
give
are given
 time for a
children
Suggestion
child
 and have good behaviour,
then
 the problem of
crime
 rate
by
Suggestion
of
with
 young people can be eliminated. And
this
 can be done by teaching parents about better parenting skills.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: