Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree?

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The number of paid holidays in one company can be different to other companies. The number of holidays of each

employee

Use synonyms

depends on the policy given by their company. Many people argue that employers should give longer holidays to improve the

productivity

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of each company, while others show a strong disapproval of

such

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an intention. I strongly agree that employers should give more holiday, as a way to motivate them to do well in their respective

job

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. Giving more vacation days for employees to improve the

productivity

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of their employees can be justified for a few underlying reasons.

First

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, as the economy has significantly increased in the past few years, the working

time

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has risen considerably,

thus

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leading to a decrease in the spare

time

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that each of the

employee

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has.

Thus

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, offering employees with longer holidays can help increase the spare

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time of

Accept comma addition

time, of

employees, that

consequently

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can result to a happier life. Giving them more free

time

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Linking Words

therefore can

Accept comma addition

therefore, can

lead to an increase in the

productivity

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level.

Second

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, not only does longer holiday give employees a better work life balance, but

also

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it improves the

job

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satisfaction. When employees are satisfied, they will be motivated to give more efforts in their

job

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Therefore

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, the overall performance of each

employee

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will be far better.

Finally

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, aiming to improve their

creativity

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, employees can take holiday as a way to experience the new subject.

Furthermore

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, the

productivity

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and

creativity

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are often achieved not from people who are working in long hours, but people who are getting outside their day to day.

Additionally

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, vacations are important to reduce the physical effects of stress on

body

Suggestion

the body

therefore

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giving more free

time

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can actually help

employee

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to refresh their mind.

Consequently

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, it will boost

creativity

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and lead to better performance in workplaces. To conclude, having considered the above arguments, I strongly agree that providing employers with longer vacation days can improve the

productivity

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of the employees. More vacation days can lead to happiness, improve

job

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satisfaction and boost

creativity

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which all can lead to a better performance in workplaces.

Submitted by steven.sentosa on Thu Dec 26 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that in our modern age because of advancement in digital technology it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, but others believe handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss these views and state you opinion.

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Write a letter to the hotel manager to inform you are coming with a group of people to have a business meeting at his hotel. - Introduce yourself and the group. - Tell about the business meeting. - Inform if accommodation is necessary.

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?