IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activities in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activities in 2010.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates regular physical activities performed by
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 and women of different
age
Use synonyms
 groups. The sample covered
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 from Australia during the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, at least 40% of the people were involved in regular physical activities with the only exception being males from
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 of 35 to 40, which was just under 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Within all the
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 covered, apart from
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 15 to 24,
female
Add an article
the female
show examples
 percentage
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing physical outnumbered
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
 percentage in all scenarios. The highest difference
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 is in the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 35 to 44, with 13%
whereas
Linking Words
,
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 difference is in the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 65 and over, with 0.4%. There
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 only one
instances
Change to a singular noun
instance
show examples
 where
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of males involved in physical activities were over 50%, which was within the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 15 to 24 of 52.8%, the same instances for female occurred within three
age
Use synonyms
 groups; 35 to 44
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 52.5%, 45 to 54 of 53.3% and 55 to 64 with 53%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: