Q. Scientists have been warning for many years about the importance of protecting the environment and that we must limit the use of energy in our daily lives. Despite warnings, many people do not do this. What are the reasons for that and how people can be encouraged to take an interest in protecting the environment?

Environment
Add an article
The environment
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is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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part of our life, which
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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us
many
Change preposition
with many
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resources. Researchers often
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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that we should save our
environment
and less use
of
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apply
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energy resources,
whereas
some
people
do not want to
leave
Correct your spelling
live
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comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
life.
This
essay will elaborate
that
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on
show examples
why
people
are not interested
to save
Change preposition
in saving
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
and remedial action which encourages them. The course of human civilization has had a devastating effect on the
environment
. Now we are facing problems
such
as –
melting
Correct article usage
the melting
show examples
of glaciers, depletion of the ozone layer and Climate change to name a few. Environmentalists have been warning the governments and the general public
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
many years now but with no effect.
People
still have no regard for the indiscriminate use of
coal derived
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coal-derived
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fuels and wastage of water.
This
could be
due to
the lack of
economical
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economic
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alternatives
in the market or a feeling of apathy
due to
the extremeness of
present
Correct article usage
the present
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lifestyle. We must encourage
people
to take part in the preservation of the
environment
by introducing safe, effective and economical
alternatives
and by government regulation. Many citizens are aware of the environmental concerns from the exhaust from industries and vehicles. The dependence of
today’s’
Correct your spelling
today’s
life on
coal based
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coal-based
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fuels is extreme and has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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developed over the past centuries. It will be
time consuming
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time-consuming
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and expensive to make a system change. Though many environmentally safe
alternatives
exist they are out of the reach of the common man.
For example
,
battery operated
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battery-operated
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cars are expensive and the networks of charging stations are still developing
whereas
, petrol and diesel filling stations with facilities are easily available.
People
can be encouraged to conserve energy by making the
alternatives
more accessible to all sections of society. Governments must support
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies developing
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
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safe products and technology by offering incentives. Education is
also
an important factor, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers today are busy and stressed and do not have the time to spend seeking out new products and methods of saving energy.
To sum up
, we must become a more environmentally sound society so that our children will be able to inherit an inhabitable earth.
This
is our responsibility as parents and caregivers. It is unfortunate that we have neglected
this
for convenience and greed.
Therefore
all action must be taken to correct
this
environmental degradation.
Submitted by kshama.engg03 on

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General
While your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, providing more specific evidence would strengthen your points. For example, citing actual studies or statistics on environmental issues and solutions can make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is quite solid. However, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea for clearer understanding. This helps in maintaining coherence and avoids overloading the reader with too many points at once.
Language and Grammar
In terms of language, seek to enhance precision. Small grammatical corrections and varying sentence structures could elevate your essay’s readability.
Task Achievement
Shifting some focus to practical, small-scale actions that individuals can take would make the essay more relatable and actionable. For example, discussing what individuals can do in their daily lives to contribute to a healthier environment adds practical value.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the question and provides a thorough response, covering both reasons for lack of interest and potential solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have used a good introduction and conclusion, providing a clear framework for your essay. This helps in guiding the reader effectively through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Language and Grammar
There is effective use of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transition between ideas. This enhances the overall flow of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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