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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that arts such as painting are waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services

#people #arts #waste #money #government #services
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It is considered by some that
government
Suggestion
the government
 should allocate
huge amount
Suggestion
huge amounts
a huge amount
 of
money
Use synonyms
 to develop public services rather than on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
.
Accept space
.
 In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
 I think
,
Accept space
,
although
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 it is important to give priority and spend
money
Use synonyms
 on public services spending some
money
Use synonyms
 on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
 is not a waste
.
Accept space
.
 Nowadays, most of the countries
has
Suggestion
have
 poor public services
such
Linking Words
 an education
,
Accept space
,
 health and transportation rule to lack
of sufficient
Suggestion
sufficient money
money
Use synonyms
. Quality public services helps to
uplifs
fill with high spirits; fill with optimism
uplift
 any
country
Use synonyms
's as well as
peoples
Suggestion
peoples'
 economy level
.
Accept space
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 well established quality public services elevate the overall well being of any person live in the
country
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example spending
Accept comma addition
example, spending
money
Use synonyms
 and developing
education system
Suggestion
an education system
the education system
 in any
country
Use synonyms
 helps to make more productive intelligence
work force
the force of workers available
workforce
 to increase the
country
Use synonyms
's productivity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 improving public health leads to have a healthy
,
Accept space
,
 happy people with higher life expectancy.
Linking Words
However developing
Accept comma addition
However, developing
 the
countries
Suggestion
country
 entertainment
side proding
Accept comma addition
side, prodding
side prodding
side providing
 some
money
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 helpful to maintain culture and traditional values. Every
country
Use synonyms
 has unique cultural values and depict
these value
Suggestion
these values
this value
 through arts
such
Linking Words
 as painting
,
Accept space
,
 drama and music help to uplift peoples creativity and artistic talent while improving tourism industry
.
Accept space
.
for
Suggestion
For
instanse
an occurrence of something
instance
,
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,
sri
Suggestion
Sri
Sir
lanka
Suggestion
Lanka
 is
Use synonyms
country
Suggestion
a country
the country
 which has unique culture and every year government spend one
third
Linking Words
 of their budget to build and refurbish museums, art galleries
,
Accept space
,
preserve ancient carvings and promote tourism through these arts
.
Accept space
.
This
Linking Words
 helps
country
Use synonyms
 and local people to enhance the income level as providing accommodation, food and transportation for tourists. In conclusion, while giving priority to improve public services spending
money
Use synonyms
 to improve arts is essential for any
country
Use synonyms
 to maintain a unique environment.
Submitted by maheshimk on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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