IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, a lot of children have access to the internet
witout
in absence of
without
 having adults to control and advice.
there
Suggestion
There
 is a concern that
this
Linking Words
 may be dangerous,
espectially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 when they
makefriend
Suggestion
make friend
 with unknown people on social
medias
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
.
This
Linking Words
 issue can be solved by,
first
Linking Words
, encourage parents to have more
time
Use synonyms
 with their children.
Second
Linking Words
, having a regulation to control
children
Suggestion
children's
accessibility
Suggestion
access
 to the internet. The main reason children are spending
time
Use synonyms
 on the internet is because their parents do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 with them.
In other words
Linking Words
, The more
time
Use synonyms
 parents spend with children, the less
time
Use synonyms
 they will use on social media.
This
Linking Words
 will effectively reduce
Use synonyms
time children
Suggestion
the time children
 spend with strangers on social
medias
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
.
Thus
Linking Words
, reducing the chance of being in unsafe circumstances.
However
Linking Words
, in our society, it is
sometime
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
 impossible for parents to stay with the children all the
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is why it is equally important to regulate both the children and the social media companies.
For example
Linking Words
, social media companies should be required to have their users registered some personal (and official) information.
This
Linking Words
 way, the social media providers can know users age, and manage the contents that each user can see, or even manage the people that users should meet. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay presents two
suggestion
Suggestion
suggestions
 of the serious problem of risk when letting children spend
time
Use synonyms
 with strangers on social
medias
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, parents should spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their children and
second
Linking Words
, in case that the parents are not with the children, regulations will be useful.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: