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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #books #four #months #village #libraries #percentages #type #time #information #features #comparisons
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The given line graph compares the information about the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
books
 which were borrowed from village libraries over the 4-
month
 period in 2014.
Overall
, the most significant fact to emerge from the line graph is that Church Mount was the least common
library
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 readers
borrowed
Correct pronoun usage
who borrowed
show examples
books
 over the given time frame. The level of RyeSlip
library
 was the highest, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
300
books
 in June.
However
,
this
 figure decreased by approximately 120
books
 over the examined period. The utilization of
books
 from Sutton Wood
library
 increased slightly over the
next
month
.
While
this
 figure declined significantly between July and August, it soared steeply from August to September. The rate of Sutton Wood
library
 increased by 50
books
 over the 4-
month
 period.
In contrast
, as regards the levels of West Eaton and Church Mount, both figures experienced a similar trend.
While
 both of
figures
Correct article usage
the figures
show examples
 lent only 50
books
 in June, till August they went up by 100
books
 and around 70
books
,
accordingly
. Over the following
month
, the of West Eaton levelled out;
however
, the level of Church Mount increased, with the rate ending up at 150
books
 in September.
Submitted by receboveminaga02 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, month, library with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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