IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationships #workplace #person #focus #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is correct to say that focus on
work
Use synonyms
 should be of foremost importance rather than maintaining
relationship
Suggestion
relationships
a relationship
the relationship
. As the
word
equipped with wire or wires especially for electric or telephone service
wired
 workplace
suggest
Suggestion
suggests
 it is the place for
work
Use synonyms
 only. Most of the young generation, after completion of their studies wish to find
job
Suggestion
a job
jobs
 of their choice where they can display their capabilities. Every person does
hard
Suggestion
the hard work
work
Use synonyms
 at workplace for promotion, better job opportunities. If people concentrate on
work
Use synonyms
 only
then
Linking Words
 they can
contibute
bestow a quality on
contribute
 positively for their
organistaion
the persons (or committees or departments etc.) who make up a body for the purpose of administering something
organisation
 contrary to negative contribution by maintaining
relationship
Suggestion
a relationship
relationships
the relationship
.
Now a days
Suggestion
Nowadays
 thinking of working generation has changed drastically as they believe in doing only limited
work
Use synonyms
 and crave for
attention
Suggestion
the attention
 of the seniors for promotion
in
Suggestion
at
work
Use synonyms
. They feel that the more we butter the seniors the more benefits we will get from them.
Instead
Linking Words
 of sitting for long hours in office they adopt the shortcut to
sucess
an event that accomplishes its intended purpose
success
. As luminary says there is no shortcut to
sucess
an event that accomplishes its intended purpose
success
success'
, we should concentrate more on
work
Use synonyms
. By doing
so we
Accept comma addition
so, we
 will come with flying colours in life.
Submitted by yhdeeptimendiratta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: