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Writing Samples
Band 5

Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

#crime #rate #countries #areas
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Undoubtedly, the occurrence of
crime
Use synonyms
 has increased exponentially in major cities,
in contrast
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 to, smaller towns in many nations.
This
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 appears to be associated with the high unemployment rate in
such
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 cities,
however
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, to curb
this
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, improving the overall
security
Use synonyms
 system will perhaps be the most appropriate way out.
To begin
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 with, the main reason for increased
crime
Use synonyms
 in cities than in rural areas can be linked to the inequality between the total
number
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 of available jobs, and the total
number
Use synonyms
 of employable population. Because of
this
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, more people living in cities are unable to have money to meet their immediate needs, especially considering the competition of living an exotic life that comes
with
Suggestion
to
 residing in a city, which frustrates the poor, and makes them to look for quicker ways of becoming wealthy,
hence
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 person take to
crime
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
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.
For example
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, a recent study concluded that 60 percent of criminals reprimanded by the Nigerian Police Force in Lagos State fall within the age bracket of 18 to 45 years, having at least a high school diploma, and were unemployed for at least 5years before involving in
crime
Use synonyms
, yet they all confessed that they considered
crime
Use synonyms
 because they
beleived
accept as true; take to be true
believed
believes
 it will make them live extravagantly. Turning to how crimes can be minimized in cities, it seems beneficial
for
Suggestion
to
 the society as a whole to apply more modern
security
Use synonyms
 measures.
This
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 can be achieved by using gadgets like CCTV cameras in public places, which will deter those planning to steal or commit any organised
crime
Use synonyms
 from embarking on
such
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 pursuit.
For instance
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, a recent survey reported that in the
last
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 decade, 80 percent of supermarkets robbed did not have digital cameras, despite having
security
Use synonyms
 officers.
Therefore
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, having sophisticated
security
Use synonyms
 gadgets installed in virtually all the areas of a major city will plummet the occurrence of crimes because when people are being watched, they act as though they are being monitored,
consequently
Linking Words
, they become better behaved in the society. To conclude, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 cases
have increased
Suggestion
has increased
had increased
 in cities today more than in smaller towns because of the increasing
number
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 of people without a job, and are unable to make money legitimately to lead a comfortable life,
however
Linking Words
,
this
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 essay suggest that it can be curbed by applying modern sophisticated
security
Use synonyms
 devices as an effective way to
check mate
complete victory
checkmate
such
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 acts of
crime
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ayodelesam.adebisi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • anonymity
  • social cohesion
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • desperation
  • urban stressors
  • mental health
  • community policing
  • job opportunities
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • public spaces
  • surveillance cameras
  • deterrent
  • recidivism
  • reintegration programs
What to do next:
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