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Band 5

Young people are often influenced by others in the same age in their behaviour and situations. This called "peer group pressure". Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#people #age #behaviour #situations #peer #group #pressure
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As is known, these days, most young people may not have
life
Suggestion
the life
 they want themselves. It has utterly been debated that most youngsters have a great impact on the others who are at the same age with them. As far as I am concerned,
this
Linking Words
 issue can bring about more positive effects than downsides. On the negative side, if a young person acquire a recommendation,
this
Linking Words
 person can lose his or her self-confidence as
this
Linking Words
 young may think that other youngs are of
more intelligence
Suggestion
more intelligent
 than him.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to stress and even getting used to harmful habits
such
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 as alcoholism, juvenile delinquency, drugs.
Moreover
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, most youngsters do not like
that someone
Accept comma addition
that, someone
 advices to them because they assume that they are perfect. It can breed controversy between advisor and them. In spite of certain drawbacks, I still believe that peer group pressure has
agreat
Suggestion
a great
 number of benefits. Young people might learn from each other effectively because of their understanding level. They can think same things,
as a result
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 of which they may support their ideas. One clear example
to
Suggestion
for
of
this
Linking Words
 can be Messi's life. He was a weak in his childhood, even he did not believe
himself
that male; objective male pronoun
him
. His friends help him to generate self-satisfaction;
consequently
Linking Words
, he grew to today's condition. Now he is the best football player and he believes yourself.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 tendency can bring an efficient rapport among friends. They aid each other for various occasions. By way of conclusion, I believe that the merits of peer group pressure are of more significance than the demerits of it. I hope that almost all youngsters may comprehend the other youngs, so they can learn something better.
Submitted by receboveminaga02 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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