In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development

There is a strong possibility that in future elderly people comprised a large share of the

population

in some countries. Despite some minor upsides,

such

a change I think it has negative consequences. There are some negligible positive aspects of the old

population

.The most important one is that in these societies a lot of job opportunities are provided for young people .

Accept space

rtheremore in

Accept comma addition

Furthermore, in

Furthermore in

such

countries the cost of education is lower than in other countries. Take Japan,

for instance

, the number of people over 60 in

this

country is twice the children's

population

, which means that governments spend less money on training.

However

, the pitfalls derived from the increasing

population

of ag

ed p

Suggestion

aging

eople are huge. The most serious disadvantage of aging is that the income of government decline.To put it simply, retired people do not pay taxes and

as a result

vernments l

Suggestion

government

ost an important source of revenue. Another considerable minus point for governments to deal with is, providing care for them.Authorities should establish residential and nursing homes for ag

ed p

Suggestion

ages

eople which may cause a lot of pressure on governments. Another reason why

this

change considered negative is that elderly people have special health needs and good he

althcare s

Suggestion

health care

hould be available to them, which consumes a large proportion of the country budget that could be used in industry and other fields. To sum up, as we have seen, while there may be some upsides to the increasing percentage of ol

d p

Suggestion

older

eople

population

, its overall influence is negative.

Submitted by prinstongirl.90 on Wed Jan 08 2020

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

248 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree

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In many countries around the world, rural people are oving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

some people believe the government should spend money building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others however think that building more and wider roads is a better way to reduce the traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?