Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect

There was a lengthy discussion of whether

video

games are more beneficial or harmful among people. I purpose that every coin has two sides, including

video

games if we could use it properly. The main argument of approving that

video

games are conducive and advantageous is that

this

could promote our abilities of creativity, imagining and response. There are varieties of

video

game topics,

such

as race car (rally),

first

-character shooting and puzzle-solving. In these

game

Suggestion

games

, especially in puzzle games, it could not only consolidate some knowledge we learnt

already but

Accept comma addition

already, but

also enhance

Suggestion

also enhances

our ability to make a strategy after anatomising problem.

Furthermore

, playing

video

games is

also

a tool to communicate with their friends. Imagine that our children might be isolated if other students play a specific but our children not. It is beneficial for children who do not recognise English words to play the word maze.

On the other hand

, drawbacks

Suggestion

playing

video

games are significantly obverse. Affecting academic performance for students, impeding

eye-sight

normal use of the faculty of vision

eyesight

and losing social ability in the real world are both parts of disadvantage which might be caused by

games

Suggestion

the games

Firstly

, the main target for students is studying, while playing too much

video

games might distract their

attentions

Suggestion

attention

on studying, and it is

also

evidently right for a working man.

Secondly

, spending too much time on it generates a pressing environment for our eyes.

As a result

, the ocular disease is more likely to occur on them.

Lastly

, compared to beneficial counterpart I mentioned, playing overtime is likely to deplete their ability to chat with others and difficult to discriminate which worlds are real life.

This

will dramatically affect our healthy

life no

Accept comma addition

life, no

matter for student or adult. In conclusion, the advantages outweigh drawbacks.

Submitted by duchengdao on Thu Jan 09 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, there is a growing concern about the quality of education. What are the reasons behind this issue, and what measures can be taken to improve the education system?

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only a few manage to achieve it. What do think is the reason? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this stetement?