A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important

It might seem that kindness and
honor
bestow honor or rewards upon
honour
are
main representatives
Suggestion
the main representatives
of personal statues these days, but I completely disagree with
this
thought. Nowadays, people
do not form
Suggestion
are not forming
their
life
Suggestion
lives
or make their friendships according to the old-fashioned values
such
as
honor
bestow honor or rewards upon
honour
, kindness, and trust.
For example
, most of the people think that celebrities
are respected
Suggestion
respect
for their talents or personality. In fact,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
of these celebrities are admired for their wealth and position. There are plenty of concealed secrets that reveal the real personality and background of famous people. Nowadays, so many young and famous rappers suffer from drug addiction and
overdrinking
alcohol. Things like owning
huge mansion
Suggestion
a huge mansion
, expensive cars, and yacht have a great impact on adolescents. Teenagers begin to create their future plans by admiring what celebrities have.
However
, it is apparent that expensive cars or huge mansions are the things that not everyone can acquire. But there are a few celebrities that should be presented as
great example
Suggestion
a great example
.
For instance
, Eminem has been through tough times when he was
child
Suggestion
a child
. When he was a
kid his,
Suggestion
kid, his
mother abandoned him,
then
he could not manage to graduate from the high school. Despite these problems, he struggled to be someone successful. In my opinion
everyone especially
Accept comma addition
everyone, especially
teenagers admire him for his self-confidence, trust, and courageousness.
However
, I still believe from the bottom of my heart that there are a few people who still respect others for their personality or trust. Most of us try to form great families, make friendships over old-fashioned values, and raise our children to be beneficial citizens
to
Suggestion
of
in
our community, and when we are treated the way we do not appreciate, we see that as a violation of our relationship. It is apparent that most ordinary people have still old-fashioned faith.
Majority
Suggestion
The majority
of people follow
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
based on these old-fashioned values.
Submitted by eelimerdan752 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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