some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Parents try to help their children in all possible
ways but
Accept comma addition
ways, but
it doesn't mean that children should not learn
something
an indefinite thing
anything
on their own. It creates a dependency if parents always give solutions to their child's problems. But there are some youngsters who
are introvert
Suggestion
are introverted
by nature and doesn't open up so easily. These
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
require
external push
Suggestion
an external push
to get through some situations. Some
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
are very enthusiastic and full of energy. They interact with others try to learn new things.
Linking Words
First let's
Accept comma addition
First, let's
talk about parents helping their children at every step of their life that includes teaching them what they should do when they're free. If
this
Linking Words
process
continue
Suggestion
continues
then
Linking Words
many youngsters will start relying on their parents and lose the ability to think and make any decisions. I remember my childhood friend Rakesh who is still a good friend of mine, had gone through
this
Linking Words
phase of life. When we were in school, he hardly participated in any school function activities on his own. Every time teacher complained about
this
Linking Words
to his parents and
then
Linking Words
his parents push him to take part in
such
Linking Words
occasions. He had faced
this
Linking Words
issue because he was raised that way and his parents didn't allow him to go out and play with other colony
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
has made them less interactive and he lacks the capability to make any decision on his own. Youngsters have
fresh mind
Suggestion
a fresh mind
, they learn what they see. If we allow them to mix up with different peoples, they learn to engage themselves and do good in their future. On the other side, some
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
have certain health issues where parents should always pitch in and help them. But again, they should always try to help their young ones to do things on their own.
This
Linking Words
will lead to a great society and a good culture.
Submitted by rohitshrivastav11 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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