IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#food #people #farms #thousands #miles #environment #economy #farmers #outweigh
The globalization has made it possible to not only share the information and culture around the world but cuisines too.
Therefore
, it is argued by many that domestic
food
 production should be consumed only by locals,
instead
 of
transported
Suggestion
transporting
 vegetation, for the boost of economy and environment. In the following paragraphs we will discuss the pros and cons of the same. On the one hand, if the fruits and vegetables, cultivated by domestic farmers, get consumed by local people, it will boost their financial status for many reasons. One of the main reasons is that they would not need to spend too much on transportation or packaging.
Hence
, their expenditures will be low and earnings high. Another reason is that there will be no wastage of
food
 as the agriculturists can identify the demand of domestic people easily which is good for
environment's health
Suggestion
the environment's health
.
On the other hand
, one major disadvantage of it will be that people will not find variety in their diet which could lead to some serious health issues.
For instance
, Broccoli is not harvested in one city and neither its citizens import it from other
places
Accept comma addition
places, then
then
 they would not get the essential nutrients in their daily menu.
Similarly
, people tend to get
bore
Suggestion
bored
 by eating
same type
Suggestion
the same type
 of
food
everyday
Suggestion
every day
 so they prefer to try some new
delecacies
the quality of being beautiful and delicate in appearance
delicacies
 which is only possible if we allow importing of
food
 items from other countries or states. In conclusion, Farmers will be richer if they can sell their harvest in
local market
Suggestion
the local market
.
However
, it will leave limited options
in
Suggestion
on
 the table of masses which will prove detrimental
for
Suggestion
to
 their health.
Hence
, sharing in global market outweighs the restriction of
food
upto
Suggestion
up to
 local people.
Submitted by gakumarig on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: