The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park secondary school since it's construction in 1950. Summarise the information and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent 1950 Main road Houses school Farmland playground 1980 Main road Car park science block school Sports field play ground 2010 Main road Car park science block school Sports field play ground

#diagrams #show #changes #place #west #park #school #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevent #road #houses #farmland #playground #car #science #block #sports #field #ground

The maps illustrate

tht

Correct your spelling

the

changes that

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

taken

place

at West

Park

secondary

school

from 1950 to 2010.

Overall

,there were many changes

Correct pronoun usage

that happend

show examples

happend

Correct your spelling

happened

happen

in these years like

fram

Correct your spelling

from

land

sports

Correct article usage

a sports

show examples

field from here to

car

Correct article usage

a car

show examples

park

.But

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

road and

school

stayed unchanged In 1950,there were

houses

situated at the side of the

school

, behind the

houses

there was

farm

Correct your spelling

farmland

show examples

land

,side of the

farm

Correct your spelling

farmland

show examples

land

play ground

Correct your spelling

playground

show examples

was situated.

Moreover

,in 1980,

houses

were replaced by

car

Add an article

the car

a car

show examples

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

show examples

and science

block

Fix the agreement mistake

blocks

show examples

farm

Correct your spelling

farmland

show examples

land

replaced

Add a missing verb

was replaced

show examples

sports

Add an article

the sports

show examples

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

.But,

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

and

play ground

Correct your spelling

playground

show examples

remaind

Correct your spelling

remained

remain

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

place

.in 2010

car

Correct article usage

the car

show examples

park

was extended and

play ground

Correct your spelling

playground

show examples

place

made smaller to relocate the sports field

car

Correct article usage

the car

show examples

Park

However

,from 1950 to 2010 ,

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

road and

school

was stayed

Change to the active voice

stayed

show examples

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

place

Sum

Fix the infinitive

To sum

show examples

up,the maps depict that over 60 years there were many changes

takes

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

place

at West

Park

secondary

school

Houses

and

farm

Correct your spelling

farmland

show examples

land

demolished

Add a missing verb

were demolished

show examples

and

car

Correct article usage

a car

show examples

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

show examples

took over that

place

.But

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

road and

school

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

remain in

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

place

Submitted by jovitaswtgal on Wed Jan 15 2020

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Vocabulary: Replace the words place, park, school, land, car, houses, farm with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

163 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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