Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents

It is argued that all parents should participate the

childcare

training

course

to bring up their children with good health in society. While from my perspective, I agree that all parents should learn about

childcare

, but it is not compulsory to attend the

childcare

training

course

for all parents.

Childcare training

Suggestion

The childcare training course

course

is essential for teaching the parents to care of their children. Certainly, it can provide a comprehensive knowledge about their

babies specially

Accept comma addition

babies, especially

babies especially

those who are new parents.

In addition

, trained parents can easily understand the need of their offspring in the critical situations

refers to the speaker or writer

.e., the basic requirements of babies when growing up, the medical care in some cases and their proper feeding plan with a balanced diet.

Therefore

, parents must join a

childcare

Suggestion

child care

training

course

for better parenting.

However

although

childcare

is indispensable in many societies, it is not possible to attend the

childcare

training

course

for all paternities due their busy job schedule with committed other responsibilities.

Moreover

, mothers and fathers are bound to adapt their cultural and religious limitations for caring their children in everyone has their own society.

For instance

, in Pakistan, there are about more than one and half million children are born annually. It means over 8,000,000 parents should take part in

childcare training

Suggestion

a childcare training course

the childcare training course

childcare training courses

course

on each year.

This

is impossible to manage and implement for stakeholders and government to launch a

childcare

course

in the same manner as

grandparent’s guide

Suggestion

a grandparent’s guide

to new parents according to their traditions.

Therefore

childcare

Suggestion

child care

courses are not practically conceivable to attend extensively for parents. In conclusion,

childcare

is necessary for every parent for better parenting.

However

, joining

childcare

by training

course

might be more effective

for

Suggestion

raising

children but

Accept comma addition

children, but

due ancient traditional methods and restrictions it is not feasible for all parents.

Submitted by sodhik6662 on Wed Jan 15 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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