The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern society, a lot of parents do not know how to teach their own kids
,
Accept space
,
It causes the increase juvenile crimes.I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
point of view. In
this
Linking Words
essay
,
Accept space
,
I will discuss reasons why I agree that parents need to learn the parenting skills.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the modern life is busier than the past. In the past, we believed that father should bring the bacon back and mother should stay at home to educate their children.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
the children can receive the good family education.
However
Linking Words
, there are a lot of kids who live in double career family nowadays.They do not get the attention anymore
,
Accept space
,
there are only toy
Suggestion
,
TV and babysitter for their childhood.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
there is report show that the infant who did not have good care with their parents during growth time
,
Accept space
,
it will cause the children become bad.
Secondly
Linking Words
, parents’
behair
Suggestion
be hair
will influence children.Especially
,
Accept space
,
during
children
Suggestion
children's
child
growth up.They will imitate their parents act.If there parents are alcoholic
Accept space
,
,
drug addict or violent.There
are
Suggestion
is
really big chance children will become as same as their parents.For instant, Andrei Chikatilo is the
baddest
(superlative of 'bad') most wanting in quality or value or condition
worst
baldest
man in the world. He killed the 53 girls in 1990.When he was young
,
Accept space
,
His mother will beat him seriously when he
peeing
Suggestion
is peeing
pees
in the bed.The small broken heart causes the terrible event. In the conclusion, parents need to go to school to learn parenting skill.It can save some innocent life and decrease
crime rate
Suggestion
crime rates
the crime rate
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: