IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the proportion of male and female students studying six art-related subjects at a UK university in 2011. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportion of male and female students studying six art-related subjects at a UK university in 2011. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 diagram is highlighting the ratio of men and women that were enrolled in different courses in the united kingdom in 2011. as a general trend the
number
Use synonyms
 of female students
exceeding
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
male
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
within
Change preposition
in
show examples
 5
subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects
show examples
 out of six. As for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art and design, the
number
Use synonyms
 of boys
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 higher than the
number
Use synonyms
 of girls by 25
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difference.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
 the girls dominated the remaining subjects by reasonably little variation compared to boys except in the instances of philosophy where the difference went up reaching 100. On other hand, it seems that students in 2011
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 targeting specific curricula more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others. Studying language and literature was the most demanding
courses
Fix the agreement mistake
course
show examples
 where the
number
Use synonyms
 of
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
 enrolled reached around 480 boys and girls
all together
Correct your spelling
altogether
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 philosophy and history & archaeology ranked
the
Correct word choice
as the
show examples
 lowest demanding courses attended with a total admission reached 200
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
 for each.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: