IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
It is commonly believed that unpaid
community
 services play an indispensable role in nurturing the virtues of society. Many argue that volunteering
work
for
Suggestion
in
 the
community
 should be a part of the
school
 curriculum.
Moreover
, I
also
 agree with the above notion because
community
work
 can benefit pupils enormously; it can help students in developing soft skills and
also
 to become a better person. Education should not be strictly limited to academia, students should
also
 be given a chance to develop people skills, and one of the best ways to hone these aptitudes is through unpaid
community
 service. Serving those who are less fortunate or working for the good of the
community
, teaches us many lessons
such
 as empathy.
For instance
, adult volunteers in the food bank, tend to
work
 without earning money because they are accustomed to doing volunteering
since
Suggestion
for
school
Suggestion
the school
 and they genuinely care about other human beings.
Furthermore
,
volunteering
Accept comma addition
volunteering, work
work
 at the
school
 level can lead towards self-discipline and
also
 help students to follow the path of virtue. Serving the
community at
Accept comma addition
community, at
school
 can alter the
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 of students permanently. To illustrate, many years
ago my
Accept comma addition
ago, my
school
 taught me not only to keep the
surrounding
the environmental condition
surroundings
 of the
school
clean but
Accept comma addition
clean, but
also
 to never litter anywhere outside of the
school
. Due to those lessons at
school
, today as an adult, I feel that keeping the mother earth clean is my responsibility.
Therefore
, schools should encourage students
for
Suggestion
in
community
work
 by introducing
such
 types of unpaid
work
 in the curriculum so that students can become a better
members
Suggestion
member
 of the
community
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: